Seven Deadly Sins 5: Envy

I think this one is pretty self explanatory as envy is about the most straightforward one in the bunch. Here are 7 things I lack or covet.


1.) Height

I’ve always wanted to be taller. I only 5″1 (or 1.56 m.) and that may not be small to a lot of people, but when you’re living in a country that is on the list amongst ‘tallest people on earth’ it can be hell. I’ve never been able to reach the top shelf in the grocery store and that annoys me. I’ve never been able to sit properly in a train, you know with your feet touching the ground. Most cars are literally too big for me: by the time I’m seated comfortably enough so I can reach the gas, I cannot see over the steering wheel unless I adjust it (which when I just got my license wasn’t possible in that car). It used to annoy me a whole lot more than it does now, especially in my teens when everyone seemed to be growing except me, but you know what: I am who I am, but sometimes it would be nice to have a few inches extra.

2.) A faster metabolism

For real, mine is super slow, which is a pain. Luckily, when I work out enough I notice it being a bit better, but still it takes ages for my body to process anything I eat/ drink/ put in my body. I seriously think this may be the reason why my allergies always respond the day after, and not right away, like they should. It sometimes makes for stomachaches and sudden food intolerance as well. Oh well…I’ve survived so far.

3.) Straight hair

I used to have super straight hair as a kid. When I was a toddler I had wavy hair though and after cutting my hair short in my teens and letting it grow out again in my twenties, those wavy lengths returned. I would love to cut my bangs into a real fringe, but that’s simply impossible or I’d have to style it every godforsaken day. Don’t feel like doing that as that would just take up too much time and I love my bed too much. A fringe would look good though, as I have a pretty high forehead. So please, give me back my straight hair!

4.) Get a PhD

The longer I spend at universities, the more I wish to work at one. For that, I do need one more thing though: a PhD. And with work and bills and what not in the mix, getting a PhD is not an easy thing to do as it requires a working a full time job at virtually no pay. At least for the first couple of years of your traineeship (cuz that’s what it really is) I’d get less than half of what I earn now on a monthly basis. I would just be able to pay my bills with that and get some groceries but I’d never be able to save a single penny or whatever. So I’m hoping there is another solution so I can still pursue a PhD position next to keeping an actual job. I know some places have programs for this (like companies and stuff) and also the government has a fund that you can apply to as a teacher, but it’s very difficult to get into all of those.

5.) Move house

See IF I do a PhD, I would also not be able to move house, which is something that I want to do before I’m 30. This means I still have 3 years left, but I also still have 1,5 years left of my current MPhil program. That doesn’t leave much time, or space for squeezing in a PhD. Or I would have to stay where I’m at till I’m thirty five, just so I can afford my career. Something tells me that’s not right and it’s definitely not something that I’d want to do. But yeah… I’ve been living here for almost 10 years and I would like to have my own apartment, all decorated and furnished to my own taste and not with borrowed/ donated furniture.

6.) A job other than teaching English

It’s the reason why I went back to school! Don’t get me wrong I love to teach and I love English and I love teaching English, but I really don’t see myself explaining grammar rules and letter writing till I’m 65. Therefore: a PhD so I can do research and teach communication at university, or maybe I should try out for a government position by the time I am free to pick any job I like. (The grant I have to help me pay for studying forces me to stay on as a teacher for at least 1 year after graduation). Who knows? 3 years from now it will all be open for debate!

7.) Mad guitar skills

I don’t play any instruments. It has never really interested me, until I heard what people can do with guitars. I just love the sound of them and I would love to be able to play some tunes myself. However, I’d first need a guitar for that. Oh and time, which as of late has been a little short at hand. But definitely, some time in the future I will buy myself and acoustic guitar and I’ll feign being oh I don’t know Joan Baez or something.

Q: What would you like to have?

2 responses to “Seven Deadly Sins 5: Envy”

  1. PhD vind ik wel echt bij jou passen.. Kun je niet een appartementje krijgen in een iets kleinere plaats? (waardoor de huur dus lager is) en daarnaast toch voor die PhD gaan?? Zou je misschien ook dichter bij school/werk kunnen gaan wonen. Zou gewoon proberen of met geld uit zo’n fonds het toch kan doen want je kan door al je diploma’s die je al hebt gehaald volgens mij prima laten zien dat jij dat geld dubbel en dwars verdiend! Eerlijk gezegd denk je dat door toch je PhD te kunnen halen je gelukkiger wordt dan van je eigen flatje+meubels… flatje+meubels zijn maar gewoon spullen en materialistisch en hartstikke vervangbaar (niet dat het niet leuk is hoor!) terwijl met een PhD je zoveel meer kan doen wat jij graag wilt en niemand het dan ooit nog van je af kan nemen dat je het hebt kunnen halen. + meer carière kansen krijg je er ook nog eens door natuurlijk en das ook nooit weg 😉

    • Thanks voor je berichtje! Het probleem is alleen dat het niet om een paar euro minder gaat, maar echt de helft van mijn salaris. Ik zit nu al heel goedkoop en zelfs dat kan ik dalijk dan net wel/ net niet betalen. Als AIO verdien je namelijk geen drol, dan kun je beter putjesschepper zijn, dan verdien je nog meer. Maar goed, zo ver is het nog niet. Ik ga idd eerst proberen om beurzen aan te vragen/ iets te regelen met werk. Dan kan ik daarna altijd nog kijken. Het helemaal fantastisch zijn als ik naar de VS kan voor mijn PhD dan is het probleem ook meteen opgelost, want dan moet je toch helemaal omschakelen. Dat is dan makkelijker dan wanneer je in NL blijft met familie, vrienden en een levenstijl waar je nu eenmaal aan gewend bent geraakt.

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